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ABOUT CONSTELLATIONS

For a start, it is not astrology! However, you can think of a family constellation a bit like the stars in a constellation – Orion’s Belt or the Big Dipper, for example – each constellation is different. Similarly, each person has their own 'constellation' of family members and relationships from their upbringing. The dynamics – like who was present, family structure, events – form your unique family system or constellation. We carry this dynamic with us and it influences how we relate to others.

The main purpose of a constellation is to help the issue holder find a greater awareness about dynamics that might be keeping them stuck, and ideally, helping them find a renewed sense of resourcefulness. This process may unfold over the coming months and it is not recommended to replace therapy.

There’s some relationship to internal family systems, but the difference is evident in the title. The power of Internal Family Systems lies with looking at the parts of ourselves that we have taken on from our family. Although similar, Family Constellations aims to include members from the person’s family that they may or may not be carrying “internally”.

It is about your real family. You bring your unique set of relationships – parents, siblings, age differences, significant life events like divorce or death. Every member of the family has their own history, and even siblings experience things differently because they arrived at different times into a changing family environment. However, we don't actually use your real family members in your constellation. If they are present, we would ask them just to observe.

You learn how to relate to others from your family, whatever form that is, from the moment you are born – that is, how to give and receive love. This is modelled by your caregivers. These lessons, often unconscious, follow you into adulthood and affect your relationships – to loved ones, even your colleagues. When two people come together, each brings their own assumptions about love and connection from their family background, which can make relationships tricky. The constellation process helps uncover these hidden dynamics.

Absolutely. In a typical workshop, you can participate in a few different ways: Issue Holder: The person who brings a personal issue to work on. Observers/Particpants: The others who attend to learn by witnessing other people’s situations Representative: Chosen from the observers to stand in for family members or significant people/events in their life. (This is decided in the moment and is only by consent.) The process starts with one person, the Issue Holder, choosing to work on their challenge or goal. This person will then usually share some basic facts about their family – who’s present, who might be missing, ages, important events. Then Representatives are chosen to ‘represent’ these family members. The representatives aren’t “acting” but simply standing for the member and reporting their experience. It isn’t role play or re-enactment, rather a way of noticing what is happening for the people involved.

They don’t role-play or recite scripted lines. Instead, they report back what they notice or feel in the moment from the position they’ve been given. For example, someone standing in for a father might find themselves looking away, and express that their attention is elsewhere. These real-time insights can uncover truths about the family dynamic that the issue holder may not have recognized.

I’d like to say there are three healing moments that one may experience as an issue holder doing a family constellation: Sharing Your Story: The issue holder introduces their family background – this can itself be healing. Witnessing the Dynamic: With the representatives in place, the issue holder observes patterns and connections without being directly involved. This can create a healthy perspective and detachment. Healing Movement: Once the constellation is set-up, the issue holder may step into the scene, replacing their representative, and the facilitator tries to identify gestures or phrases that bring acceptance or acknowledgement – for example, expressing gratitude for the sacrifices and decisions of grandparents, even if they had been socially outcast. The aim is to honour family realities and move toward a healthier orientation toward the truth of what is – sometimes simply finding awareness or detachment from old patterns is transformative. The dynamics that emerge reveal truths and unconscious patterns, allowing for insight and possible healing movements.

A healing movement is a gesture, phrase, or action that brings more acceptance or resolution to the issue at hand. It could be something like turning to acknowledge your parents for what they could give you, then turning to face your future. It’s not about creating or re-enacting scenes but acknowledging the truth of what was and seeing how to move forward.

Yes, but you can always decline. As an observer, you might be invited to step in, but it’s up to you. Sometimes, there aren’t enough people, so we use floor markers to represent certain roles if needed.

Typically, there’s about an hour allocated per issue holder, but there is a lot of variance in this. The length of a workshop will determine how many Issue Holder places there are, with others participating as observers or representatives as needed.

Usually not. Sometimes scarves or markers are placed on the floor to represent family members or events, but it’s not a prop-dependent process. You don’t need to bring anything, although some people like to take notes, or bring things for their own comfort, which is fine to do.

Yes, the workshop is mixed and open to all.